


Conflicted Identities

by caterinaaaz



Category: Ackley Bridge
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-11-19 12:57:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 18,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11313873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caterinaaaz/pseuds/caterinaaaz
Summary: Nasreen Paracha and Missy Booth have been best friends for as long as they can recall. The two girls share laughter, secrets and most importantly- chocolate. However, Nas lives in a state of internal conflict, withholding a multitude of secrets that she feels compelled to keep private from both Missy and her Pakistani Muslim family. Secret one being- Nas is gay.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please do leave kudos and comments, I appreciate them all <3
> 
> *This story follows but does not replicate exact sequences of events from the TV series*
> 
> (((This is a fanfic, therefore I don't own the characters or any of the names associated with the Ackley Bridge franchise. However, whilst it follows the general gist of the episodes- much of the story's content is created by me. Enjoy!)))

**Nas**

Management had always been a strong and effective trait in the life of Nasreen Paracha. Her daily routine, whilst not being overly monotonous- rarely deviated from the structure that she had given to it. Nas ensured that she kept up appearances in all areas of her life, whether this be completing her classwork to a high standard in order to impress the teachers at school, or simply hanging out with her best friend Missy Booth next door- typically consisting of devouring copious amounts of Missy’s Nana’s chocolate supply. Every element of Nas’ life was kept separate from one another. She and Missy attended different schools, despite being next door neighbours. Her mum worked as a lunch supervisor at a nearby Islamic primary school, and her dad was always “away on business”- although Nas frequently questioned the nature of such ‘business’. Teachers liked her, she had a fairly close group of friends at school, and she had achieved outstanding GCSE results last year, earning her a spot in all of her first choice A-Level subjects. All in all, Nasreen Paracha’s life wasn’t easy, but it suited her perfectly. That was so, until a ground-breaking announcement shook the culturally divided community of Halifax, West Yorkshire. Government budget cuts had finally took their toll, and plans were to be finalised for the merging of the town’s two secondary schools. To an outsider looking in, this may not have seemed such a great issue. However, for the citizens of Halifax, this new school signified the forced integration and cultural convergence they had so hoped to avoid. The school was to be named Ackley Bridge College, and pupils from both pre-existing schools were automatically granted a place. Whilst the concerns of the majority focussed purely around the supposedly contrasting values of the Muslim community in comparison to the white British population, Nas had far deeper troubling thoughts racing through her mind, circling around and around until she was dizzy with confusion and nauseous with guilt. She feared facing her inner self more than any white pupil could possibly fear sharing a classroom with an Asian pupil and vice versa. She toyed with these thoughts for what seemed like an eternity. What would Ackley Bridge mean for Nas?

**Missy**

Missy Booth had made a decision, albeit with great reluctance. Despite being on the brink of eighteen, Missy had dropped out of sixth form in order to run around after her hopeless alcoholic of a mother, and simply to escape the pressures of school life in general. She spent her weekdays working a dead end minimum wage café job, and most of her weeknights either searching for her wandering mum, cooking dinner for her Nana and sister Hayley, or flicking through magazines with her closest and most loyal friend, Nas. They would gossip and laugh until Nas’ mum called over the fence for her to come home for the night. Missy appreciated the time spent with her best friend, and had longed for them to spend every minute chatting. She guessed that was partly why she’d abandoned school when given the chance to. The girls’ in her year were either complete bitches or just plain boring. Plus, Corey Wilson would never leave her alone, which was extremely irritating. However, Missy’s plans to remain at the café soon changed once she heard that her old school had closed and Ackley Bridge was set to open in the coming September. She’d first heard the news from Hayley, who had bounced through the door completely ecstatic to be joining her own best friend, Nas’ sister Razia- for year 12. Missy had quickly phoned the administrative team and made plans to return to sixth form. Even though she would be a year behind and therefore stuck with her sister, Missy was determined to gain qualifications alongside her lifelong BFF. Therefore, it came as a shock to Missy when Nas didn’t reciprocate this enthusiasm, instead choosing to respond with a soft smile and a shrug. Missy assumed that Nas was just feeling a tad nervous, she’d heard some of the rumours circulating about the way girls dress and act at Nas’ school- most of them opting to wear hijab and base a girl’s value on her romantic or sexual reputation, rather than the more socially liberal stance taken by the students at Missy’s old comprehensive. Oh well, a new start would hopefully be for the best, and no amount of casual insouciance could hide Missy’s excitement for the approaching term.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This story follows but does not replicate exact sequences of events from the TV series*
> 
> (((This is a fanfic, therefore I don't own the characters or any of the names associated with the Ackley Bridge franchise. However, whilst it follows the general gist of the episodes- much of the story's content is created by me. Enjoy!)))

**Nas**

The final day of summer has arrived, and Nas is attempting to remain optimistic, despite her underlying anxiety for what tomorrow holds. Other than a fortnightly day out with Alya, completing her A-Level transition homework, ‘babysitting’ her younger siblings and helping her mum around the home- Nas has spent the majority of her summer with Missy, relaxing in makeshift deckchairs next to the Booth family’s inflatable paddling pool. When she isn’t doing any of these things, she lies awake in bed thinking of the last summer term at her old school- longing to relive the end of year science trip taken with their new (and unfortunately, temporary) student teacher- Lila. Nas felt so unbelievably alive, like she could be herself regardless of what anybody else would think- even though her school had been comprised of 90% practicing Muslims. This meant to her dismay, that Nas was completely aware no level of persuasion would ever allow her to be truly free in amongst both her school and the wider Muslim community. This frequently caused Nas to retreat into a state of misery, and she often cried silently once Razia was asleep. Now, matters had only been worsened through the creation of Ackley Bridge, but as usual- Nas was completely unable to express her anxiety through fear of being exposed and rejected. Only Lila knew the truth, and she was long gone. If things hadn’t been bad enough already, Nas’ mum had secured a catering position at Ackley Bridge, which left her with an even greater number of issues to worry about. Alongside having to keep her amazing yet incredibly promiscuous best friend away from her socially conservative yet highly ambitious school friendship group in order to escape conflict, Nas was now forced to ponder and stress the best way to keep her real identity hidden. Rumours spread like wildfire in a secondary school, and having her mum constantly interacting with both students and other staff members- Nas’ secret (should it get out) would reach Mrs Paracha's ears in no time. Getting into bed that fateful night, Nas was slightly tipsy- which was all Missy’s fault. However, that didn’t stop the toxic, frightful thoughts from slipping in through the window and occupying her mind. Her final conscious thoughts were of the entire school knowing and ridiculing her, and as she drifted into a disturbed sleep, Nas dreamt of exactly the same scenario.

**Missy**

Preparation and organisation are skills that Missy has never succeeded in. She rarely plans for the day ahead, let alone for an entire school year. However, after a few wise words from Nas, Missy decides to head into town with Nana in search of a few revision guides and some cute stationery. Even if she’s left it until the day before Ackley Bridge opens, it’s a start. What was previously excitement has now turned into stress and a small number of sleepless nights. Missy knows that Ackley Bridge expects far more than her old school ever did, and although never having believed in God- Missy prays for the days ahead to go easy on her. Nana sees her granddaughter feeling apprehensive, and (being the old fashioned woman she is) offers to buy Missy a 2 litre bottle of alcohol to ease the nerves. That night, Missy and Nas sit together on an old sofa balanced precariously on top of a skip in the middle of their alleyway, drinking and reminiscing their many years as friends. Reflecting on the day both girls have ahead of them, Missy declares drunkenly- “Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.” She explains that those words came from an old teacher, and Nas grins. “Your teacher’s not the one who said that! No, it’s Albert Einstein who said that!” Both girls begin to giggle in a drunken haze. Nas asks Missy if she’s looking forward to tomorrow, and in the midst of her drunkenness, Missy suddenly forgets any reason not to be. “Yeah, I kind of am” she responds, to which Nas simply laughs. Once they finish their drink, Missy and Nas part ways for the night, with a promise to meet up and walk to their new school in the morning. Missy goes to bed cheerful and contented, if not slightly nauseous. She imagines an entire year spent side by side with her best friend, and life could not seem brighter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This story follows but does not replicate exact sequences of events from the TV series*
> 
> (((This is a fanfic, therefore I don't own the characters or any of the names associated with the Ackley Bridge franchise. However, whilst it follows the general gist of the episodes- much of the story's content is created by me. Enjoy!)))

**Nas**

Putting on her new uniform for the first time since mum had dragged her, Razia and Saleem to the supplier in town, Nas is quite taken aback with its vibrant and uncompromising purple shade. Nevertheless, she brushes her silky, mid-length jet-black hair, slips on her shoes and helps Razia to hurriedly find her glittery pencil case in amongst a heap of clothes. Then, the sisters rush downstairs to the shout of their mother telling them that they’d be late. “Good luck girls, please make this family proud!” Kaneez Paracha calls out to them as they leave through the yard door and into the main alleyway. Missy and Hayley are waiting, holding their own door open for Nana, who is heading into town for a doctor’s appointment. It hadn’t seemed real, but from the moment the girls’ begin the ten minute walk from their street towards Ackley Bridge College, Nas’ heart starts to race and she feels the type of butterflies which could only be associated with nerves and to some degree, guilt. Alya Nawaz had texted Nas, asking (if not ordering) her to meet them outside of the school gates before the welcome assembly. They weren’t aware that Missy would be present, and Nas had withheld this information in order to make life easier over the summer. Alya was always bitching about the so-called ‘reputation’ of girls in and around Halifax, and Nas had noticed this was regularly directly linked to how much or little they chose to wear, or how many boys they had ‘gotten off’ with. Despite these flaws, Alya is clever, popular and incredibly ambitious. She’s also protective of Nas, and Nas did not wish to ever break this trust, staying fairly silent whenever Alya began to call another teenage girl out for her lifestyle choices. Nas also knew, of course- that she would never have to become the subject of these remarks. Whilst it certainly was not a plan of hers to come out and say how she genuinely feels in front of the entire year group, Nas was also extremely certain that she did not want a boyfriend, whether it be for show or to cover up the truth. As Nas, Missy and their sisters turn the corner, Nas whispers a silent prayer in her head, clasping her hands together tightly in desperation. Alya, Tahira and Amira are standing in wait, as expected. They point and smile in Nas’ direction. “Nasreen, over here!” Alya calls. “Ooh Nas, them your school friends?” inquires Missy, who had been looking forward to meeting the infamous Alya. “Yes, and you are?” Alya’s response isn’t ideal. Nas stares at the ground and quietly introduces the two, knowing better than anybody how the situation would prevail. She tries to zone out as Missy’s boy-centred, excitable nature fails to win over the cold, piercing stare of Alya Nawaz. She feels the tension rise and the clash of cultures heighten. Nas looks at her watch and then at the student organiser she had been sent by Ackley Bridge over the summer. Five minutes to go. She takes her phone from her blazer pocket and scrolls through social media a couple of times, but the emotions of exasperation overwhelm her. Nas sighs heavily and turns to perch on the stone wall, glancing upwards in the direction of the staff car park. She isn’t even inside the building yet and she is already exhausted. Suddenly, Nas’ heart stops. She feels her eyes widen in shock as she sees both the first and last person she could wish to encounter on a day like today. Walking towards the entrance, completely oblivious to Nas’ presence- is Lila Sharif.

**Missy**

Mrs Carter’s welcome assembly is a load of rubbish. Not only is it blatantly obvious that she has the hots for the school sponsor- a short, balding and highly irritating bloke called Sadiq, but hardly any of the students are taking the assembly in the way that Mrs Carter obviously intended. Wolf whistles, laughing and sly comments are flying around the hall at a rapid speed. Missy sits with a gloomy expression and is hit with a wave of unsolicited nostalgia. She now remembers why she was so eager to get away from school life. If this assembly is a reflection of the entire school year- it is going to be such a massive drag. Mrs Carter continues to drone on about integration and co-operation, smiling directly at Missy when she mentions that a small number of students having chosen to return to school. In all honesty, Missy wishes she’d just stayed at home instead. She had already woken in a bad mood, slightly hungover and annoyed at how god damn early it was. What Missy had not expected was the hostility and rudeness shown by Alya, a girl she hadn’t even met before! To make matters worse, she had lessons straight after assembly- English Literature with her absolute favourite teacher, Miss Keane, followed by Biology. Having not recognised her new biology teacher’s name on her timetable- ‘Miss Sharif’, Missy had assumed she was from the other school. Alongside her nerves to begin A-Levels, Missy was also concerned about Nas, and wondered why she hadn’t been very talkative all morning. Despite spending the morning with her stuck up friends, Nas had seemed a million times more anxious and distant than Missy- which was really rather confusing. Missy’s profound thought process comes to a sharp holt when she feels a prod in the back, turning to see the same desperate and immature little boy who had repeatedly acted a fool to gain her attention last year. That boy, of course, is Corey Wilson- one year younger in a literal sense yet ten years younger in a mental one. He winks, and Missy rolls her eyes- a technique she has perfected partly due to his irritating presence. She faces forward, and hears Mrs Carter’s final few announcements about community service projects and extra-curricular activities. The hall is then dismissed, and Missy walks to lessons with Nas and her school friends, attempting yet failing to make conversation between the five of them. Missy smiles and waves a brief goodbye in Nas’ direction as they reach the English department. She then screams in excitement as she spots Miss Keane walking towards the classroom from the other end of the corridor. Missy drops her bag and instantly rushes towards Miss Keane with open arms, in preparation for a full update on the life and antics of Ackley Bridge’s wildest teacher.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This story follows but does not replicate exact sequences of events from the TV series*
> 
> (((This is a fanfic, therefore I don't own the characters or any of the names associated with the Ackley Bridge franchise. However, whilst it follows the general gist of the episodes- much of the story's content is created by me. Enjoy!)))

**Nas**

Year 13 could not have started in a more hectic or divisive way. Sitting in her penultimate lesson before the day is over, Nas soon realises that her own issues are miniscule in comparison to the pressures faced by her new school and the students within it. It hadn’t even been one single solitary hour until chaos ensued. Corey Wilson’s idiot of a brother Jordan had single-handedly offended the school’s entire Muslim population, hanging a pathetic and highly immature banner which effectively labelled all Muslims as members of ISIS. Students responded in two ways, with half attacking Jordan both physically and verbally, whereas the other half, including Nas, simply sighed in frustration when they heard the news. Anyhow, if she was using the silver linings theory, Jordan’s banner proved to Nas that she and her problems could relax for a short while. Throughout the day, white and Asian students had fought like cat and dog. Nas had heard endless debates focusing around terrorism and religion, a subject which she refrained from contributing towards due to the simple lack of fact-based information held by her classmates in their stereotype-fuelled arguments. She had even heard one Asian boy complaining that ‘white culture’ was ruining the quality of their school lunches. Mass amounts of eye rolling had followed from both Nas and Missy. Whilst Alya’s attitude was becoming increasingly difficult to deal with, Nas had laughed along with her school friends, completed her classwork and attempted to explain to Missy through a series of covert gestures and facial expressions that they would speak later about the whole Alya situation. Now however, sitting in Chemistry filling in a worksheet about covalent bonding- Nas’ nerves are beginning to creep back up on her. This has absolutely nothing to do with Missy Booth or Alya Nawaz, although Nas knows that once the last bell rings, Missy will be waiting and demanding a full explanation for the way that she was treated by Alya, Amira and Tahira. This is not about them, this is all about Lila. Nas checks her timetable for the millionth time today, hoping that she wasn’t caught up in a daydream this morning. No, it definitely states in black and white that Nasreen Paracha has 5th period A-Level Biology with Miss L. Shariff. Nas reads and re-reads this condensed block of information and is unsure as to whether she should beam with joy or breakdown and cry. Once Chemistry is over, Nas walks the short journey along two corridors towards her Biology classroom. Her heart is racing and she is sweating impulsively. She checks her phone- 2:19pm. Exactly a minute later, the door opens and there she is. Standing with one hand on the door handle and the other carefully tucking a lock of curly ebony hair behind her ear- the very sight of Lila causes Nas to feel faint and disconnected from her surroundings. Lila is smiling, the beautiful wide eyed smile that Nas craves with all of her being, although thought she would never see again. She is unable to take her deep and transfixed stare away from Lila’s radiant glow, and is so taken aback with longing that she fails to notice everybody else making their way into the class under instruction. Once the other students have entered, Lila finally spots Nas with her shoulders propped up against the wall, gazing into her eyes as if they were infinite whirlpools of wonder, admiring her every feature intricately and delicately. Lila approaches Nas, reaching out a hand and placing it on Nas’ shoulder. She begins to speak, her words comforting and soft. “Hey, hey there Nas…it’s good to see you” she says, quietly. Nas nods, and inhales- attempting (and failing, once again) to remain collected around somebody so important yet so very wonderful. “Hey, ‘Miss Sharif’ ” Nas giggles “How’ve you been?” Lila smirks at this, but then her expression of glee changes to one of anxiety. “Nas, you know neither of us expected this. I missed you a lot, but I thought I’d never see you again.” Nas is taking in Lila word for word, basking in her beauty. Lila continues- “But, now you’re in my class, I have to act responsible with you, no matter how much it might suck.” Nas does understand, although this doesn’t prevent the pang of yearning she feels towards the woman who was essentially her first, and at this rate- probably her last. Nas lifts up a hand and runs her fingers through Lila’s hair. “Yeah, I know. Don’t worry Lila.” They hear footsteps in the distance, so Nas quickly removes her hand and follows Lila into the class, taking her place near the back of the room. During the lesson, Nas aces every test that Lila gives to the class, and their eyes continue to lock throughout, accompanied by gentle smiles and hidden winks. She is on cloud nine, and in the presence of Lila- all else is forgotten.

**Missy**

Having had a free period, Missy strolls up to the Biology department and peers through the tiny window into Nas’ class. Her best friend is there, smiling from ear to ear- looking unusually carefree for a lesson with Miss Sharif. Missy didn’t hate her, but was unable to deny that Miss Sharif is certainly not an advocate of ‘going easy’ on her students, even on the first day back! With only a couple minutes to wait, Missy takes out her phone and checks her notifications. A drunken text from her mum, an irritating pick up line from Corey and about 20 snapchats from Hayley and Razia- all selfies, obviously. Missy ignores them all, and by the time she has put her phone away, the students from Nas’ class are leaving for home. Missy sighs in exasperation when she realises that, in typical Nasreen style, she would be the last student to leave. Missy pokes her head around the door and sees Nas perched on the edge of a desk, chatting and laughing with Miss Sharif. Both Nas and Miss Sharif look incredibly startled when they see Missy standing in wait, and hear her calling out for Nas. “Oi, Nas. You coming home or are we just gonna’ stay here with Miss all night? I don’t know about you but I ain’t really in the sleepover mood.” Nas blushes and Miss Sharif turns her head away. Missy has no idea why they’re taking her remarks so seriously, but is relieved when Nas finally picks up her bag and tells Miss Sharif that she will see her tomorrow. As the door closes behind them, Missy is quick to throw a vast multitude of questions in Nas’ direction: “What the hell are you talking to the new teacher for? She’s well harsh!”, “You coming out tonight? Nana said she’s bought us some cans to celebrate starting at this place”, “I’m gonna need more info on that bitch Alya, who on earth does she think she is speaking to me like that!” and finally, “Nas you were well miserable this morning, what’s been happening in your life in the last few hours, eh?” Missy is demanding answers, but Nas simply shrugs, a great big smile still plastered across her face, and agrees to come round after dinner. “Ask me later Missy, when I’ve got a drink down me.” Missy smirks and begins to imitate Nas’ mum. “You are a very bad Muslim Nasreen” she mocks, to which Nas replies “Tell me about it, Miss.” The girls walk home side by side, calling out teachers as they pass them and discussing Missy’s plans to marry a super-rich footballer. Missy realises then, that as long as she has Nas around- no amount of school, heartache or bullies can truly defeat her. Even after all of the day’s events, perhaps Ackley Bridge is just what Missy needs to get back on track.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This story follows but does not replicate exact sequences of events from the TV series*
> 
> (((This is a fanfic, therefore I don't own the characters or any of the names associated with the Ackley Bridge franchise. However, whilst it follows the general gist of the episodes- much of the story's content is created by me. Enjoy!)))

**Nas**

"What's with the smiling on your face Nasreen? When I saw you at lunch you were all just doom and gloom." These are the first words spoken by Mrs Paracha upon seeing Nas almost skip through the front door and into the hallway. Razia is already chilling out on the sofa with a huge bag of crisps, and Saleem can be heard playing music upstairs. Nas breezes past her mum with a huge smile and an overly exaggerated shrug. "Just life, mum!" she calls back, as she races upstairs. There is a spring in her step which definitely had not been there this morning, and Mrs Paracha is relieved to see that Nas has enjoyed her afternoon at Ackley Bridge College. Nas dumps her bag on the floor and jumps on to her bed. She opens the top drawer of her bedside table and rummages around, trying to find the old iPod touch that she only ever uses for long bus journeys and school trips, where phones are never allowed. She finds it exactly where it had been hidden four months ago, in amongst a stack of year 12 revision and miscellaneous pieces of stationery. Nas digs further into the drawers’ contents and pulls a charger out from the back. She instantly plugs her iPod into the charger, clicking her fingers impatiently as it takes an eternity to switch on. Nas is finally ready to face the one picture which could not only destroy her reputation, but could lead to her being disowned by her entire family and friendship group. She types in her password- “1998”, and searches in amongst an abundance of social media and games until she reaches the Photo Vault app. Nas had downloaded this app immediately after returning from the school trip to Edinburgh she had just been on. She keys in the code, answers the secret question of “Who was your favourite teacher at school?” (ironic, of course), and there it is. Nas is face to face once again with the happy and seemingly innocent image to which she had attached every essence of guilt. Nas and Lila had met on an icy cold January afternoon, two days after the winter holidays had ended and students were back at school. Just like any other teenager, Nas was tired and miserable to be enduring the long school days in such awful weather conditions. This mind-set followed her from lesson to lesson- so much so that she didn’t even recognise the timid yet keen looking figure perched with a notebook, sat on a spare stool to the side of the Biology classroom. It wasn’t until Mr Khan had stood up from his desk and greeted the class, announcing “Ladies and gentleman, you may have noticed that we have a new face in our lesson today.” Lila had cautiously risen from her seat and waved in the general direction of students, smiling as she did so. “This here is Miss Sharif, she’s joining us from Leeds University and will be your student teacher until the end of the academic year. This means that Miss Sharif and I will work as a team to deliver your Biology lessons, and she is approachable if you should require assistance.” Nas had been in denial about herself for many years now, but even she was unable to deny the level of awe and instant attraction she felt towards Miss Sharif. Nas had begun to stay behind most nights after school, pretending not to understand a topic of the course or simply asking for additional help, which Miss Sharif had been more than happy to facilitate. Soon, they had formed a friendship, and Nas was on first name terms with Lila, although only when the two of them were alone. They shared life stories, laughed together and often performed small yet meaningful gestures towards one another, such as Lila offering Nas a ride home, and Nas thanking her with a bar of chocolate the next day. Deep down, Nas had known that it wouldn’t last forever, it simply couldn’t. Soon, Lila would no longer be a student, and would be under strict teacher protocol at another school, probably miles away from Halifax. However, Nas persisted, and three months, four weeks and limitless amounts of intense eye contact later- Nas felt so insanely infatuated with her student teacher that she had begged her mum for thirty pound in order to attend the Edinburgh trip.

When given two hours of free time on the final day, Nas and Lila had separated off from the group and walked the streets of Scotland’s capital together- hand in hand for the odd fleeting moment, but only as friends- of course. Nas had joked about Lila’s Scottish heritage, and Lila had tried her hardest to explain the difference between Glaswegians and Edinburgers. All in all, it has been an amazing yet melancholy day for the pair. To conclude their time in the city, they had climbed the 287 steps to the top of the Scott Monument, admiring the views, yet secretly admiring one another far more. Lila had placed her arm lightly around Nas’ shoulder as Nas was capturing the view on her iPod camera. “Fancy a selfie, Miss Sharif?” she had teased, to which Lila was not in the mood to refuse. Three pictures had been taken on that monumental afternoon in Nas’ life. The first was of both Nas and Lila smiling into the camera, their heads pressed together. In the second picture, Lila had turned her head to face Nas, smiling not at the camera this time, but straight at Nas’ soft, caramel skin. The third photograph is the one which Nas most vows to protect and hide. She had noticed Lila concentrating on her features, and turned sideways so that they were facing, noses almost touching. Without a word, they had simultaneously leaned in and kissed, the first of many which occurred on that day and the weeks that followed. It is this image which Nas now holds in front of her face. Four months later and her feelings towards Lila have not changed. She stares at it without moving for at least ten minutes straight, memories flooding through her mind- an ocean of adoration. She barely registers her mum shouting that dinner is ready, but soon half snaps out of her occupied state and heads downstairs, having thrown on a pair of blue jeans and a grey hoodie in preparation to head round Missy’s house. Whilst Razia complains non-stop and their mum rambles on about Ackley Bridge staff gossip, Nas is in another world- one in which Lila takes centre stage.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This story follows but does not replicate exact sequences of events from the TV series*
> 
> (((This is a fanfic, therefore I don't own the characters or any of the names associated with the Ackley Bridge franchise. However, whilst it follows the general gist of the episodes- much of the story's content is created by me. Enjoy!)))

**Nas**

Butterflies were beginning to rise in Nas’ stomach once again as she grabs her phone and heads next door for the evening to hang out with Missy. Razia is already over there with Hayley, and Saleem has football practice soon. Obviously, Nas isn’t about to confess everything for the sake of it, but she knows that their friendship has been building up to this moment for quite some time now. Missy had attempted to set her up with numerous boys today, all of whom Nas rejected instantly, much to Missy’s dismay. That coupled with her recent and seemingly unexplained depressive episodes and a friendliness with Lila that would look at least slightly suspicious to an outsider looking in, Nas is aware that she needs to come clean to her best friend, at least about liking girls. She knows Missy is open-minded and will care about Nas irrespective of whatever she identifies as, but that does little to supress Nas’ whirlwind of conflicting emotions.

Nana rarely locks the door in the Booth household, and Nas walks straight through it, straight into a chaotic scenario comprised of Hayley and Razia belting out the lyrics to Valerie, whilst a demented-looking Nana sits with fingers in ears and eyes closed. Nas’ eyes widen in horror as Hayley attempts to hit a higher note, and she quickly greets Nana and scurries up the narrow staircase towards Missy’s bedroom. “Nas!” Missy exclaims, jumping off of her bed and enveloping Nas in a true Missy style hug. This display of affection amuses Nas, and she laughs wholeheartedly. “Missy babe you saw me like two hours ago, but thanks anyway.” Nas responds with a wink, and is met with an instant pillow thump to the shoulder. Missy has Biology homework already, and Nas quickly runs through it with her. She begins thinking about Lila marking and grading the work, and signs her own name alongside Missy’s jokingly, accompanied by a heart and a smiley face. The noise situation downstairs is worsening, and the two girls both roll their eyes simultaneously. “Fancy the skip?” Missy asks, “I’ve got cans and tabs at the ready.” She reaches underneath her bed and grabs a four pack of Strongbow dark fruits, then pulls a packet of cigarettes and a lighter from her bottom drawer. Nas places her head into her hands and shrugs. “Yeah sure, I ain’t smoking though, never have and never will. But I bagsy a can!” Nas pulls the alcohol from Missy’s grasp and makes a run for the door. “Oi you cheeky cow, don’t you steal my booze!” Missy yells, hurdling down the stairs and out into the alleyway, where Nas is already climbing up on to the abandoned sofa skip.

The girls are relaxed, contented and ever so slightly tipsy. Missy has been droning on and on about the boys in year 12 for ages, and Nas is pretending to pay attention, listening to what her best friend has to say. However, it is obvious that she has no genuine interest in the matter. Nas stretches and yawns, to which Missy asks “What on Earth is up with you tonight? All of these lads I’m offering to help you pull and you’re just vetoing the lot of em’! I mean, I know I’ve got my eye on him but if you want, you can have Corey?” Nas bursts out laughing, alcohol dominating her every move. “What?!” Missy cries, “Oh God, don’t you tell me you’ve decided to do an Alya and renounce every lad who comes within a metre. That girl is poisonous I’m telling you.” Nas can see Missy’s frustration levels rising, and in a drunken moment decides she no longer wants to keep her best friend in the dark. “I don’t want a boy, Missy” she mumbles, a slight smile still present on her lips. Missy heaves a heavy sigh and shoots Nas a piercing stare. “What do you mean?! Look, I know your mum might go ape, but let me speak to Corey and I’m sure he wouldn’t tell anyone.” Nas raises an eyebrow and repeats herself. “No, listen. I don’t want a boy. Like…ever.”

** Missy **

Ambiguity and uncertainty are both heavily contained within Missy’s current facial expression. She has no idea why Nas is so insistent not to have a boyfriend, but it’s bloody starting to get on her nerves. Ever since they turned eleven, Missy had been fantasising about double dating with Nas, both girls having handsome boys on their arms and ending the night giggling over a huge chocolate bar with a chick flick playing in the background. Now, on the edge of eighteen- that dream had seldom failed to happen, all because of Nas and her stubbornness. This is all Missy can think of when Nas is sitting next to her, actively shunning the male population. “You’re gonna have to find a man someday, loser. How else are we going to plan weddings and apply for ‘Real Housewives of Halifax?!” The latter of which had not yet happened, although Missy was hopeful that someday she would be a Real Housewife, just one with a brain at least. Nas gawks at Missy in disturbance, opening her mouth to speak, but failing to find the words. She simply sighs and repeats the same line once more, “I don’t want a boy. Not now, not ever.” Suddenly, Missy puts two and two together and for the first time, she does not get five. Her eyes widen in bewilderment and she feels her heart stop momentarily. Yeah, Nas hasn’t shown an interest in boys- but Missy had just assumed she was too busy with schoolwork, or wanted a proper man. “What, so are you some big hairy lezzer now?” Missy teases, with clear apprehensiveness in her voice. Nas blushes, swallowing and breathing unevenly. She gives Missy a shove in the arm and turn away to hide her flared cheeks. Unable to fully comprehend what she has just heard, Missy raises a hand to her mouth and says “Oh my god, do you fancy me?” Nas quickly swings back around and bursts into a fit of laughter. “No Missy, I don’t fancy you.” She takes another swig from the can, and almost spits it out in full force when Missy’s face falls and she asks “Why not?! I don’t mind. Obviously I don’t feel the same but we could come to an agreement if you really want me that much.” Nas cannot stop giggling. She stretches out an arm and pats Missy’s head sympathetically. “No, Miss. I really do not fancy you”. “But…you’re gay?” Missy inquires, puzzled. “Well, yeah. I mean… I fancy girls, so yeah…” Nas trails off and stares into the distance. Missy assumes this is the first time Nas has told anybody, and despite the shock- she is immensely proud of her best friend. Holding out her hand, Missy takes Nas by the palm and they sit in peaceful silence for a few minutes, each taking the occasional drink. Finally, Missy turns, shuffles towards Nas and gives her a hug. “Thank you for telling me, babe, I’m honestly so glad you did. In the grand scheme of things, it actually helps to explain quite a lot.” Nas half smiles, and they sit there quietly, appreciating one another’s company until the sun goes down.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This story follows but does not replicate exact sequences of events from the TV series*
> 
> (((This is a fanfic, therefore I don't own the characters or any of the names associated with the Ackley Bridge franchise. However, whilst it follows the general gist of the episodes- much of the story's content is created by me. Enjoy!)))

**Nas**

Having fallen asleep clutching her iPod, holding on to memories of Lila and dreaming of their kisses- Nas wakes the next morning feeling upbeat and eager to get into school as quickly as possible. She opens her window wide and shouts across to Missy’s house. “Missy Boooooth” she yells, probably rousing the entire housing estate in the process. In amongst hearing her mum going ballistic over the volume- Nas is in luck. Missy yanks open the adjacent window and they both stick their heads out, giggling at how stupid they look. “What the hell do you want, I’m seeing you in 45 minutes!” Missy proclaims. “Can we make it 30?” Nas requests, hopefully. “I’ll explain later what it’s for”. Missy groans and slowly nods. “Nasreen you bloody fool” she responds, imitating Mrs Paracha, to which Nas can’t help but laugh out loud. Once back inside, she wolfs down breakfast, then brushes her teeth and changes into her uniform at a record speed. Razia and Saleem stare at their sister in horror, why on earth is she leaving the house this early, to go to school of all places? Throwing her backpack over one shoulder, Nas waves goodbye to her mum, who insists upon smoothing a stray lock of Nas’ hair and kissing her daughter twice on each cheek. In a fleeting second, Nas feels a wave of guilt wash over her- as much as she wants to protect Kaneez Paracha from finding out, it’s unlikely that will ever happen.

“There better be a bloody good explanation for making me leave the house at this ungodly hour” Missy exclaims, the moment she spots Nas closing the gate behind her. Even though it is literally just a 15 minute difference, the streets are sparse and the only noises to be heard are coming from inside the houses on either side of them. “Wellll, there may be a certain somebody that I kinda wanna see before lessons start”, Nas replies. She realises that she has spilled way too much information, but now that the biggest weight has been lifted, she feels far more inclined to share with Missy pretty much everything there is to know. “Oh my God Nas who is it?! Tell me now you little sneak” orders a now alert and attentive Missy. Rather than providing an answer, Nas simply taps the side of her nose in a secretive manner, and picks up the pace. “Christ, I don’t know who this girl is but she’s got you keen” Missy calls, and begins jogging in order to keep up with her incredibly determined, blatantly lovesick friend.

Once they reach the school, Nas drags Missy by the arm through the main doors and up one flight of stairs. They reach the lockers jumping up on to the windowsill. Conveniently for Nas, this spot is right opposite the staffroom, where she can make out Lila sitting deep in thought whilst marking a small stack of papers. Missy is whinging once again, but it’s all just background noise to Nas- who is transfixed on Lila’s beauty, even from afar. After a short while, the corridors begin to fill with students, and teachers start leaving the staff room in small groups. When Missy finally attracts Nas’ attention through prodding her- she asks “Sooo, if you don’t fancy me, then who do you fancy? I mean, you’ve spent the last ten minutes staring into space. Who is she?” Missy gets down from the ledge and turns to face Nas. The corners of Nas’ mouth twitch, and she sees Lila push open the double doors. Keeping her eyes on Lila’s every move, Nas lets her gaze follows the woman she loves. Missy’s jaw drops in amazement. “The new teacher! Aww, she ain’t gonna go for it Nas.” Nas is unable to control herself from beaming, a combination of pride at Missy’s disbelief, and lust at the thought of just how incredible it felt to hold Lila Sharif in her arms. “Already has…” she murmurs, and Missy is completely unable to refrain from squealing in astonishment. Nas briefly explains how she and Lila had met in the previous school year, and hints at their romance through a series of gestures accompanied by eyebrow raising and frequent, extreme grinning. She finally understands how amazing it feels to share such illustrious details with her closest friend- something Nas thought her attraction towards girls would prevent completely.

**Missy**

Still wholly shook from Nas’ revelation, Missy bombards her with question after question. Despite Miss Sharif being Nas’ love interest and not her own, Missy is on a mission. Therefore, having Biology in first period is a godsend- and she comprises a mental checklist of what to ask and look for in her new teacher, all for the benefit of Nas, obviously. Yes, Miss Sharif may be a massive loser when it comes to dishing out homework, but from the perspective of a gay girl, Missy can totally see the appeal. That is why, perched on the edge of a stool, Missy beckons Miss Sharif as she walks by. “Can I help you, Missy?” she asks, to which Missy responds with her own queries. “Do you like being a teacher, Miss?” she asks. Miss Sharif looks slightly surprised, and says “Yes, I do. Why? Are you thinking of becoming a teacher Missy?” Smirking, Missy stretches and says “Nah, too much work. When do you get time for any fun?” This was not the conversation that Miss Sharif had in mind for a Tuesday morning, and as she turns to leave, she smiles at Missy, a playful gleam in her eye. “Well, you have to make time.”

Two days later and the canteen is alive with the vibrant energy of a Bollywood telenovela. Missy is now on to her third day of persuading Nas to speak with Lila about their potential as a couple, and has employed many techniques to achieve this. Currently she is standing on a metal bench, belting out the lyrics to Bollywood hit ‘Suraj Hua Maddham’, as taught to her by the one and only Kaneez Paracha. Nas is in stitches at Missy’s rendition of her family’s favourite song, so much so she doesn’t realise that Lila is watching her from the lunch queue, pretending to simply be enjoying Missy’s sporadic performance. When Missy finally returns to her seat, Nas manages (despite tears of laughter rolling down her cheeks) to say “Wonderful show, Miss- I just don’t know if Lila would reciprocate the gesture”. “Aw well, worth a try ain’t it?” offers Missy. Noticing that Nas had diverted her attention towards the queue, Missy swings around only to see Miss Sharif herself headed in their direction. Nas is beginning to tremble slightly, and Missy quickly whispers “Nas, just talk to her. Ask her about her summer or kiss her in the middle of the canteen, just please talk to her!” Shoving her best friend out of the seat she was occupying and into Miss Sharif’s path, Missy adds “No time like the present!” As they softly collide, Missy sees the look on both of their faces, intense longing disguised with aching formality. The pain of true love, forbidden only by the harsh regulations of protocol. Missy needs to think of a way to unite Nas and Lila, preferably away from the merciless constraints of this god forsaken education system.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, after tonight's amazing yet tragic episode (for everybody involved) I have decided that I won't be sticking firmly to the Channel 4 storyline. As fluffy and vanilla as it may sound, I can't stand writing about irreparable heartbreak or death, unless it brings some element of positivity to the overall plot. I hope this provides comfort to anybody who is in the same position as I am! Feel free to comment at any time. Enjoy :) 
> 
>  
> 
> *This story may follow but does not replicate exact sequences of events from the TV series*
> 
> (((This is a fanfic, therefore I don't own the characters or any of the names associated with the Ackley Bridge franchise. However, whilst it follows the general gist of the episodes- much of the story's content is created by me. Enjoy!)))

**Nas**

“Don’t say you heard it from me…” she says slowly, “but… I think Lila may have just asked me on a date!” Nas’ conversation with Lila had ended abruptly after a fight had broken out in the canteen. “I’m so sorry” Lila had sighed, stepping away from Nas and towards the drama, only breaking their eye contact when it was no longer possible to hold it. Missy yelps in delight, high fiving Nas repeatedly and hammering on the table with glee. “It’s just a gig, not a big deal. She told me about them last term but she said on Tuesday that they’re playing a bar close to Halifax”. Whilst Nas is currently head over heels at the prospect of a night with Lila, she doesn’t want to appear desperate or childish. There may only be four years between them age-wise, but Nas knows she must remain mature and collected when there’s a chance Lila could be nearby, regardless of how overwhelmed with passion she makes her feel. After her final year 12 exam, they had met in Manor Heath Park the same evening. Lila’s last day at the school was the Friday of the previous week, and she was due to spend summer travelling and visiting extended family in Asia. They sat, held hands and shared deep, heartfelt kisses- until Nas’ mum had eventually phoned for her to come home from ‘Alya’s house’. Having ran their fingers through one another’s hair, shared innumerable inside jokes and promised never to forget their love- Lila had driven Nas to the top of her street, Nas’ hand placed delicately on Lila’s thigh for their final journey together. Or so she had thought. Feeling the soft sorrow of parting reflected in their final kiss, Nas had spent the entire night and following days with tears falling from her eyes. She truly adored Lila, and no amount of distance could keep her heart from suffering mercilessly.

“Well, seal the deal!” Missy is now ordering Nas to confirm arrangements with Lila, listing a range of techniques all the way from leaving a cute note for Lila to read in her exercise book, to pulling a full blown ‘Suraj Hua Maddham’ and confessing her undying love right there on the spot. “I really like Lila, Missy. I don’t want to wreck my only chance in the name of a bloody Bollywood hit,” Nas clasps her face in exasperation, groaning at the complexity of her current situation. The bell rings to signify the end of lunch, so the two girls empty their trays. Both have a free period next, and rather than hurrying, they begin a slow, winding walk towards the sixth form centre in an attempt to delay having to do any actual school work. Conveniently, they turn a corner lost in conversation, only for Nas to leap in surprise. Leaning against the radiator, hair piled up high in an adorable yet increasingly attractive ponytail- is Lila. Nas feels the familiar butterflies returning by the masses, fluttering and circling inside both her mind and heart. “I know you’re nervous but come on Nas, now is your chance to hook up with Miss Sharif!” Missy is insistent, and before Nas knows it- Missy has walked on ahead and abandoned her best friend in the middle of the corridor to approach Lila alone. Filled to the brim with that same shaking feeling experienced every single time she even so much as thinks about Lila, Nas edges closer to where Lila is perched, engrossed in an advanced level Biology textbook. When they are within millimetres of one another, Lila’s bowed head lifts, and her eyes are twinkling once she realises it is Nas who has arrived at her side. “Hey, Nas. Can I help you?” Lila enquires, her gaze sincere. Nas can sense herself melting into a pool of undying devotion once again, but tries with all her might to put on a casual front. “Umm, yeah. Have any info on that gig you mentioned?” Lila responds with enthusiasm, digging around in her enormous handbag and retrieving a folded flyer. “Wow, how do you find anything in that bag?” Nas jokes, nervously. “I know I know” Lila teases, handing the flyer to Nas. In doing so, Lila strokes Nas’ hand- their eyes drinking in as much of the other as humanely possible. “Here, it’s at The Specials bar. Have you been?” Lila enquires. Nas, despite having never been inside that particular bar- says “Yeah, once or twice.” She realises that it will be the first time since June that they had spent time alone, away from school. Remembering that Missy is waiting, Nas announces “Well, I’ll see you there. It’s a date!” and hurries down the hallway, Lila admiring Nas’ beautiful figure until she is far out of sight.

**Missy**

Having met Nas at the age of four, Missy felt as if she was in the process of experiencing an astonishingly new and previously hidden side to her best friend. Missy, having always been the most outspoken of the pair- had protected Nas through thick and thin. Any abuse Nas was given, Missy hurled it back to the perpetrators ten times stronger. Most of this had been centred on Nas’ Asian and Islamic heritage, and Missy had assumed this was the only factor that separated their identities, even if in a positive way. Lying on her bed that night, Missy recalls an event which took place when she and Nas were about ten years old. Sprawled out on the shimmery purple rug in Missy’s Groovy Chick themed bedroom, they had chatted and laughed for hours, armed with craft scissors and piles upon piles of teen girl magazines, cutting out posters of their favourite celebrity crushes. Missy’s pile was stuffed full with boy bands and cute male actors, having claimed every single poster of Zac Efron and JLS that could be found. After pausing for a juice and biscuit break, the girls had shown one another every poster that they wanted to keep and hang in their respective bedrooms. Of approximately thirty cuttings taken by Nas, only 2 of these featured male singers, one of whom had shocked the nation earlier that month by coming out as “gay”- a term which neither Missy nor Nas were familiar with, so had assumed it was a very bad thing to be. Having taken pity on Nas and feeling guilty for swiping every gorgeous man in her eye view, Missy had selflessly volunteered a few of her Justin Bieber posters. Nas had simply refused, politely stating that she was happy with the ones she already had. Back in 2010, Missy was astounded by Nas and her lack of regard for some of the hottest guys in the showbiz. In the end, she had put it down to Mrs Paracha’s constant traditional stance against boyfriends. Kaneez had told Missy on multiple occasions that ten years old was “far too young for boys!” Now however, as she lies grinning up at the ceiling- Missy understands perfectly. She makes a mental note to buy Nas a copy of “Girl Talk” in the morning, so that they can reminisce the tell-tale signs of Nas totally not being into boys.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many apologies for a lack of updates, it's 1am and I've just returned from Barcelona. This is the chapter I wrote whilst over there. It's fairly short but is incredibly important for my overall story plan to work out. 
> 
> *This story follows but does not replicate exact sequences of events from the TV series*  
> (((This is a fanfic, therefore I don't own the characters or any of the names associated with the Ackley Bridge franchise. However, whilst it follows the general gist of the episodes- much of the story's content is created by me. Enjoy!)))

**Nas**

The first week at Ackley Bridge is coming to a close. Friday has arrived at long last, and Nas awakes feeling fairly normal- whatever that means by her standards. She has Biology with Lila at 11:30 and a free period before then, So Nas can impress her teacher by reading up on the current topic, as well as thinking about what she'll say when she inevitably hangs behind to talk. However, when she sits up and prepares to head downstairs for breakfast, she realises that Razia isn't in the bed opposite. This is highly unusual in the case of the Paracha sisters, with Nas a natural early riser and Razia a strong advocate of sleeping until midday. Nas furrows her brow and slips on her dressing gown, then rushes downstairs into the family room. There, sitting on the sofa devouring a slice of toast, Razia on one side and Saleem on the other- is Nas' father. She is instantly taken aback by his presence, as he isn't due to return for another two months or so. She assumes this is reflected to him in her wide eyed expression. Having been preparing to take a plunge with the most beautiful, awe-inspiring woman in the Northern Hemisphere (i.e.- Lila Sharif), her father could not have chosen a more inconvenient and frankly quite terrifying time to grace the Paracha household with his perpetually unpredictable presence. "Um, dad?!" Nas whispers, feeling about three feet tall. "I didn't realise you'd be back so soon". He discards his breakfast and stands to greet Nas with open arms. "There's my oldest girl!" he exclaims, engulfing her in an uncomfortable hug. Nas realises that whilst she loves her father, as she is expected to- his appearances rarely bring positive news into their lives. She truly hopes this time will be different. Razia looks up from scrolling through their father's pictures from his "business trip" to Pakistan, a puzzled look strewn across her face. "Dad, who's this lad and why's he in most of the pictures?" Nas finishes buttering the toast her mum had made, and perches on a stool in the corner of the living room. She is following their conversation with intent, and is stricken with an uneasy feeling when her father responds to Razia's question by shrugging his shoulders and saying "Just some boy I met on the trip, nothing for you to worry about my love." Having no memories of visiting Pakistan but equipped with an abundance of knowledge regarding their cultures and traditions, Nas begins to panic internally. She glances up at her mum who is standing head in hand, unofficially confirming all of the suspicions she held. Yep, it had to be, didn't it? Her parents hadn't met and married one another through their own free will, it had all been arranged and annulled by their extended family- Nas' grandparents, great aunts and uncles. Whilst they had been in Pakistan at the time, and Halifax is an entire world away in relation to cultural values- Nas is fully aware of the importance a wealthy husband with a good social reputation is to her father. He had always attempted to plan her future on her behalf, but until now had been consistently shot down by her mum on many of his tries. Kaneez can see Nas clicking on to the true purpose of her father's visit, and quickly ushers her siblings to their rooms to wash and change for school. Once they're out of ear shot, Kaneez marches forward- her eyes emblazoned with rage. "Go on then you bloody idiot, tell her! Tell her why you're really here!" she yells. Nas raises her right hand to her mouth, biting nervously on her nails. "Don't worry mum, I know why he's here." Nas' voice is barely audible, and her eyes begin to fill with tears. Her father sits in silence for a short while, his eyes boring into the ground. Without warning, he stands and pleads with his daughter, desperately attempting to gain her approval in his recent endeavours. "Nasreen, the boy in the photos, he's a lovely lad with a really massive house! I'd never force you love, but believe your dad here. You'd be set up for life, never having to worry about a thing." Nas steps away from him and a single tear escapes, sprinting down her soft cheek. This couldn’t be any further from what she wants in life, not now and not ever. Her parents begin to argue and screech at one another, with Mrs Paracha emphasising their daughter's 21st century values and education. Disconnecting from the situation temporarily, thoughts of her sexuality and hopes for her relationship with Lila are spinning crazily in Nas' mind, refusing to surrender. Suddenly, nothing in Nas’ life seems static anymore. When she returns to reality, both parents are staring at her, expecting some form of decision. Her head is spinning, and she quickly blurts out "I don’t know, I mean I can't. I mean can you just leave me alone!" before slamming the living room door and sprinting upstairs. She needs to get out of this stupid house and to see Lila’s comforting smile as soon as possible.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any feedback would be highly appreciated. If anybody wants to ask, comment upon or simply talk about Ackley Bridge with me- please do leave some feedback :)
> 
> This chapter is three times the size of a normal one (by my standards) and it took two days to write, so have fun reading it <3
> 
> *This story follows but does not replicate exact sequences of events from the TV series*  
> (((This is a fanfic, therefore I don't own the characters or any of the names associated with the Ackley Bridge franchise. However, whilst it follows the general gist of the episodes- much of the story's content is created by me. Enjoy!)))

**Nas**

Trudging into school on that fateful autumn’s morning, Nas stares at the ground the entire time, unable to conjure the slightest smile. Missy is trying her hardest to ignite a conversation, but it seems as though Nas’ mind is in another dimension completely. Nas assumes that since Missy knows she’s a frequent introvert, she has guessed that her friend is simply not in the mood for talking. She’s dreading having to explain to Missy the morning’s events of the Paracha household. Once they reach the school gates, they hear the bell for first lesson sound almost instantaneously. Without a minute to pause and talk, Missy quickly calls out a fleeting “Bye!” to Nas- as she sprints to her sociology class on the other side of the school. Sighing heavily, Nas begins a slow, gradual walk towards the sixth form centre, hoping to find a quiet corner to spend her free period alone in peace. Approximately half way there, Nas spots Lila leaving the staff room and pacing along the corridor towards a year 8 lesson. At the same time, Lila catches sight of Nas, wandering aimlessly with her huge, sorrowful Bambi eyes. Nas stops in her tracks. She needs to hear her teacher’s voice, even if only for a minute, even if only for a second. The corridor is fairly empty, and Nas can see that Lila’s year eights aren’t phased by the lack of a teacher standing in front of them. She opens her mouth to speak, and a mere few words escape. “Hi…” she mumbles. “Can I talk to you later?” Her voice is cracking under the pressure of desperation. Desperation to be heard, loved and most importantly- understood. Lila diverts her gaze from Nas’ pleading eyes into her classroom and then back. She clasps her books to her chest and places one hand lightly on the side of Nas’ shoulder. “Yeah, of course you can” she responds. Turning to enter the class, she waves goodbye to Nas, a half-smile present on her lips. Nas meanders towards the sixth form centre, collapsing into an armchair and reluctantly prising open the Biology textbook Lila had given her on their first lesson together. Failing to take in any of the page’s content that she is reading, Nas slumps to the side and sits in silence until the hour is up, and the second bell of the day sounds.

Physically and mentally unable to focus on the topic at hand, Nas struggles through her fourth Biology lesson of the year, eyes fixed on nothing in particular. Faltering attempts to remain composed are at the forefront of her attention. The class are currently doing some sort of silent learning task that Lila set halfway through, with Lila herself sitting and marking books at her desk, regularly and anxiously glancing up at Nas. In contrast to her usual motivated and academically-oriented self, Nas is sitting with her forehead in her right hand and her eyes flickering open and shut, as if she has a headache of sorts. Lila cannot bear the sight of Nas looking so disengaged, so stands up and begins to weave her way through desks, absentmindedly leaning over the shoulders of students to check their progress. Nas looks up as she sees Lila approaching, and attempts a short, sweet smile. She can see that Lila is incredibly startled with her lack of work, and sighs softly when her teacher pulls over a stool and perches expectantly. “Nas, do you need any help? This is really unlike you, lovely” Lila whispers, quietening even further at the end of her sentence. Nas turns to face Lila, only inches away from kissing her right there and then in front of the entire class. A lock of Nas’ hair falls forward, and Lila automatically goes to fix it, until realising where they are and pulling her hand back down. They both blush, and Nas remembers the question posed to her. “I’m just tired, Li- Miss Sharif. I’ll finish it at home if you want.” Nas explains. Yes, she feels tired, but not with fatigue. She is tired of constantly having to pretend to be somebody she isn’t, finding security and comfort in only two people, one of whom she cannot expose her loyalty to due to its forbidden and illegal nature. Filled to the brim with fear, her conflicted identities pulling and prying like a series of interrogations. Scared of disappointing her family yet aching at the prospect of never being herself in this life, there seems to be no real way out. Knowing full well that something isn’t right, Lila decides to wait until after the lesson to question Nas further, and leaves her be until the lunch bell rings an antagonising twenty minutes later.

Once everybody else has left for the canteen, Nas slowly edges forward to where Lila is sat at her desk, and jumps up on to the table opposite, swinging her legs nervously. Lila stands and leans against the desk. They do nothing for a while aside from simply watching one another, until Lila begins to speak. “So…are you alright? Any reason in particular for wanting to see me?” She wears an expression of confusion and concern, unknowing of the reason for Nas’ anxiety. They both wait in silence, Lila’s question hanging in the air awaiting a response. Shaking and on the verge of tears, Nas finally manages to talk. “It’s my dad” she says, and lowers her voice into a barely audible whisper. “He wants me to get an arranged marriage…” Lila’s eyes widen and her jaw drops slightly, but she continues to question Nas on the situation. “What?! Do you know the guy? Is he forcing you?” she demands to know, to which Nas replies “He’s got me some lad in Pakistan, wants me to fly over and meet him. And he isn’t forcing me but he’s pretty insistent.” Nas rolls her eyes exasperatedly, and laughs drily when Lila asks “Well, is it what you want?” “No, of course it’s not what I want!” she exclaims, staring directly into Lila’s dark, mahogany eyes with every inch of melancholy desire. In an attempt to straighten out the worry that Nas is obviously feeling, Lila hints and enquires into the likelihood of the Paracha family accepting Nas’ sexuality. To this, Nas stares at Lila as if she’s just asked the stupidest question known to man. “There’s no way I could tell them, they would never understand. Never. Did you tell your parents?” Half a decade ago, Lila had been in the same position as Nas, and tries to put this across, “Well, in a roundabout way.” She sees Nas listening in, and continues- “My dad is a taxi driver, and he caught me kissing my girlfriend in town when I was seventeen.” This amuses Nas, but does little to calm the storm within her. Being seventeen herself, Nas has no idea how her father would handle it, other than completely renouncing his gay daughter, of course. “Yeah well…my dad would disown me” Nas trails off. “Soooo, have you had many girlfriends then?” she asks Lila, lightly blushing. Lila is taken aback, but smiles and says “A few, but none crazy enough to test his metal. Yet.” Biting her lip and tilting her head to the side, mid-length ebony hair tickling her shoulder- Nas replies with “Yet?” There is momentary silence, but this is quickly broken by Lila, who takes a deep breath in. Her eyes appear to be filling with tears, but she hurriedly blinks them away. “Nas, you didn’t think this could happen- did you?” Hurt and anguished, Nas manages to say “Um, yeah? I mean I like you and we’ve kissed!” to which Lila turns away, closing her eyes and inhaling sharply. “Yes, and you mustn’t tell anybody, not ever. We can’t be together, it’s just not realistic.” For the millionth time today, Nas feels her heart shattering. “B…but I thought… I thought you liked me?” she stutters. How can this day possibly be disintegrating even further? There is absolutely no way out, nobody left to save her from the loneliness and the guilt. “I do like you, but we just can’t Nas.” Lila is trying to divert her gaze from that of Nas’ who is quietly crying- tears escaping one by one like delicate raindrops. Without a word, she slides down from the table and picks up her bag. What is the point?

**Missy**

Trudging back along the concrete pavement in the cold and foggy wind, Missy begins to wish that Nas would just find a normal girlfriend. Yes, Nas and Miss Sharif go together like two peas in a pod- they’re both cute (weird to think about on Miss Sharif’s part), nerdy and intelligent. However, Nas had informed her of the afternoon’s events whilst sat picking at food in the canteen, and as she looks towards her best friend and sees her sullen, crestfallen face staring into nothingness- Missy understands that what Nas needs is a girl who isn’t 5 years older or her Biology teacher. “I know what you need!” Missy teases, prodding Nas in the shoulder. “Don’t say chocolate”, Nas replies half-heartedly. “Nah, you need a rebound! Like a proper girlfriend, to help you get over Lila”. Nas breathes in heavily, and Missy groans at her reluctance to at least try something new. “Missy, I can’t have a girlfriend. Not Lila, not anyone” Nas protests, speeding up into a quick walk towards their street. “But why not?! You don’t have to tell your parents for a long time so you might as well just go for it. I’m sure there are plenty of gay girls dying to get their hands on you!” Missy cannot for the life of her see why Nas has such a problem with it. Yeah, she’s Muslim and her parents can be strict as hell, but they can’t change who she is even if they want to. Also, how many times has Nas drank alcohol or snuck out without her parents knowing? The only barrier here is herself, and Missy is determined to knock it straight out of place. Nas is wearing a look of anger, and Missy steps back in shock as her best friend begins to shout “Do you not understand? Girls like me can’t be themselves, not ever!” They have reached Nas’ gate, and she storms through it and into her house before Missy has a chance to respond. Nas may have hoped that she would back off, but that certainly isn’t on the cards. She just needs time to cool off. Walking through her own front door and into the living room, Missy sees that Hayley and Nana are sitting drinking tea and eating biscuits. Great, another boring Friday night babysitting Hayley while Nana goes and spends the rest of her pension at the Bingo. As if by magic, seconds after entering the room, Hayley announces that she has a date with Riz Nawaz. “He didn’t say where he’s taking me, but we’re double dating with Chloe and Corey so I’m meeting Chloe at six” Hayley explains. “Ooo, I’ll help you get ready for it, but watch that Corey!” Missy asserts. “I’m gonna go and see if Nas wants to come help as well, be right back!” she calls, heading back out and around to knock on the Paracha family’s door, armed with a bar of chocolate grabbed straight from the fridge and a big hug for Nas. Missy wants to do anything in her power to make Nas feel happier and more able to be herself, but it seems as if Nas only wants one person- Lila.

It hadn’t taken much convincing for Nas to throw her hoodie on and sprint next door once she heard about Hayley’s date. Still feeling downhearted and appearing to be more timid than usual, Missy goes easy and delegates Nas the role of ironing Hayley’s clothes, whilst she sits and does her little sister’s makeup for the date. They chat and laugh for the entire time, with Missy impersonating the teachers at Ackley Bridge and Nas collapsing in stitches every time she sees Missy pretending to be Mrs Carter around Alya and Riz’s dad, Sadiq- who the girls decide their head teacher is obviously madly in love with. When Missy casually brings up Nas being gay, Nas doesn’t become embarrassed or defensive. Instead, she shrugs it off and accepts her sexuality, giggling as Missy spurts off into yet another rendition of ‘Saraj Hua Maddham’. They dance dramatically in front of Nana, who is nattering on about something or other. When the clock nears six, they usher Hayley into the street and wave goodbye- shouting final words of advice as she heads off on the date. As Nas attempts to wander in the direction of her house, Missy blocks her path and winks suggestively. “We’re going out” she declares, pulling her iPhone from her jacket pocket and unlocking it on to a website. Nas scrunches up her face and grabs Missy’s phone. “A gay club?! You know that’s not my thing!” Smirking, Missy says “More your thing than mine, dear.” Unable to find a reply, Nas simply smiles and throws her head back in a sort of humorous frustration. Missy can tell that Nas is internally deliberating whether to accept her invitation for the night out, and quickly orders her to accept. “There’s a train to Leeds at seven thirty. Meet me at the top of Ginnel at seven. Be there!” The Booth family gate slams shut, leaving Nas without a choice.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos and feedback, it would be so incredibly appreciated <3
> 
> *This story follows but does not replicate exact sequences of events from the TV series*  
> (((This is a fanfic, therefore I don't own the characters or any of the names associated with the Ackley Bridge franchise. However, whilst it follows the general gist of the episodes- much of the story's content is created by me. Enjoy!)))

**Nas**

The city is alive with impulsiveness, the carefree atmosphere of Friday night. Couples strolling hand in hand, groups of friends swinging through the neon streets. Taxis, buses and trains all depositing eager people into the city in a shimmering haze of excitement. A hubbub of giggling hen parties immersed alongside the grandeur and prestige of VIPs. Alcohol flowing in copious quantities, crowds of made up party goers huddled together under tightly dispersed smoking shelters. Leeds is a melting pot, and one of unfaltering amazement. Such thoughts and many more race through the young mind of Nasreen Paracha, as she runs across a wide tarmacked road in a royal blue sequined dress and kitten heels- grasping tightly on to the hand of her closest friend, Missy Booth. During mid-September evenings, Leeds begins to darken earlier as each night passes, and a cold wind sneaks through the day disguised as a gentle breeze, exposing itself into the night. Nas shivers, taking in the city- allowing its open arms to engulf her into a word quite different from her life in Ackley Bridge. Before she has a chance to realise, Missy is dragging Nas into a dimly lit passage underneath a dark, dingy bridge. The formidable calling of city lights have vanished into the distance, and the damp pavements are lined with ominous looking folk, the type who rarely stray further than these sombre passageways. Nas looks up at Missy, who seems completely unbothered by their new and strange surroundings. To her dismay, Nas realises that the nightclub is located in the very heart of this gloomy cavern. A gargantuan Afro-Caribbean security guard towers over them as they pass through the doorway and into the foyer. To their right is a set of diamond encrusted stairs, and disco music is blaring from the top of them, sending thumping vibrations throughout the club and soaring levels of uneasiness within Nas. They had passed any number of beautifully decorated bars on their way, yet she assumes that this place is the only one that doesn’t ask for ID, with both Nas and Missy being seventeen. Missy grabs Nas by the arm and drags her up the stairs, squealing with excitement. Despite the rapid, vibrant and pulsating nature of the club, Nas begins to view the scenes unfurling before her in slow motion, gasping as a heavily made up drag queen welcomes them on to the dance floor. Spotting an empty space at the bar, Nas heads directly for a pair of stools, wading through a sea of hairspray-clad blonde girls sporting bunny ears. “Come on, let’s dance!” Missy cries, to which Nas forces a smile and says “I’m just gonna sit and have a drink first, you can go ahead though.” Missy doesn’t need to be told twice, and instantly loses herself in the masses of stumbling, swearing and screeching clubbers. Nas distractedly orders a weak alcopop, and sits staring into space, feeling more distressed as the night progresses. After what seems like an eternity, Missy returns- sweating and smelling strongly of vodka. “C’mon babe, get up! Tell me who you fancy and I’ll do the talking!” Her words are slurred, and Nas quickly skims the dance floor just so she can tell Missy there is definitely nobody here for her. Without giving Nas a chance to speak, Missy begins pointing towards a random girl and squawks in delight. “Oh my God her!” Missy declares, holding a finger up to Nas signalling for her to wait. After not even thirty seconds of talking to this girl, Missy returns shaking her head solemnly. “She’s straight, here on hen do” she explains. Nas is relieved, and when Missy attempts once again to make her best friend join her on the floor, she decides she needs space. With an insistent shake of the head, Nas finishes her drink and hops down from the seat- ever so slightly tipsy. “I need some fresh air” she states, heading towards the exit and leaving Missy to continue having fun.

Once outside, Nas inhales and exhales with great depth, struggling to find the stamina to continue with the night ahead. She hears the door behind her slam shut. Swivelling around, the security guard is staring. “Not tonight” he smirks. Although she originally protests, Nas is equally glad as she is scared to be unable to return. Beginning a quick walk towards where they first left the main city and entered this hell hole of a tunnel, Nas feels the cold breeze hit her as she finally escapes breathlessly into the city’s euphoric centre. She stands and faces the wind’s direction, allowing the peaceful serenity of solace to wash her clean of sadness and despair. The streets have cleared, and aside from a small number of passers-by, she’s alone to ponder her own thoughts. Wandering nowhere in particular, Nas approaches a nearby crossing. When the green man sounds, she strolls across the road, balancing precariously in her heels. Taking a second to look up into the distance, she sees a familiar lone figure- drifting and completely lost in thought. Silky soft locks of hair, the colour of deep charcoal cascade freely down their back, and Nas edges closer forward. The figure gently sways to the side, and upon doing so they latch eyes, not for the first time. Much to Nas’ pure elation- her notions are instantly confirmed. Here before her, stands her one true, sincere love- Lila Sharif. Suddenly, the world has stopped and nothing else matters, nothing at all.

**Missy**

Returning to the bar, Missy notices that Nas has slipped away. In her drunken state, Missy assumes she’s finally moved her frigid arse from the barstool and found herself a decent lass. They must either be getting it on somewhere or they’ve left for a more private venue. Missy giggles to herself, before re-joining the new and probably temporary group of mates she found soon after entering the club earlier that night. There’s no way she’s going in search of Nas if her newly outed best friend is on the pull. Spotting a tall, fit and obviously straight bloke at the bar (she can tell because he is looking uncomfortable as hell), Missy decides she’ll probably try and do the same. She cannot wait to find out what Nas got up to, but for now- it’s time to let loose and dance the night away!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally some much awaited action between Nas & Lila!! I seriously enjoyed writing this chapter, so please leave feedback and kudos if you liked it <3
> 
> *This story follows but does not replicate exact sequences of events from the TV series*  
> (((This is a fanfic, therefore I don't own the characters or any of the names associated with the Ackley Bridge franchise. However, whilst it follows the general gist of the episodes- much of the story's content is created by me. Enjoy!)))

**Nas**

Dizzy with disbelief and unable to overcome the breathtakingly beautiful sight before her, Nas feels as if she is walking on air. The constant murmur of city noise comes to a standstill, overhead lamps dim to the most perfect, lustful hue, and Nas swears she can hear the symphony of sweet, pleasing music playing in the background of her real life fantasy. Lila is standing alone at an empty taxi rank, hands concealed in the pockets of her coat, gazing into space innocently. Nas pauses to capture this moment in her mind, appreciating the authenticity and genuine nature of such a simple action. She crosses the deserted road and walks towards Lila, filled to the brim with an ambiguous cocktail of anxiety, excitement and insane longing. As if scripted, Lila notices Nas’ oncoming figure- turning at the most picture perfect moment. Her eyes glint and gleam under the moonlight, widening in amazed perplexity as she spots Nas approaching. Nas grins, sweeping a stray lock of hair from her face as she moves closer and closer to the woman she adores so dearly. “Nas?” Lila declares, to which she responds with “Hey!” ‘Great’, Nas thinks. Of all the words in the world and of every tone she could’ve used, she had to choose an overly exaggerated greeting of ‘Hey!’ She soon forgets this minor concern when Lila beams back at her, thoroughly resplendent and pure as ever. Inches apart, Lila asks “What are you doing here?!” to which Nas responds quick wittedly. She realises that following Lila’s issue with them being together in school, this new and liberating environment promises a fresh start for the pair, for the mean time at least. She folds her arms and with the tiniest smirk, says “No, I think you’ve mistaken me for somebody else…coz my name is Serena.” She maintains serious eye contact, and Lila simultaneously blinks and smiles- surprised by this display of strategic humour. She scrunches her brow and nods slowly. “Serena?” Unable to contain her love for Nas’ intelligence, Lila omits a short giggle once Nas provides a long and drawn out “mmmhmmm”. “Right”, she chuckles to herself. Nas begins to see that this spontaneous plan is heading in the right direction, and decides to enquire further. “What’s your name?” she asks, watching Lila’s every glance and move. Upon seeing Lila begin to shake her head and doubt the reliability of this technique, Nas prompts her into answering. “It’s alright, we’re not in Ackley Bridge now you can be who you wanna be.” Lila sighs and looks away, her hair falling to partly cover her face, but she physically cannot stop smiling. “Um…” she struggles for a second or two before finally replying with “Sunali”, turning once again to face Nas, whose eyes widen dramatically. “Sunali.” Nas deadpans, to which Lila pretends to be offended. “Yeah!” she proclaims, and they both snicker in a giddy and excitable fashion. “Right well, pleased to meet you Sunali” Nas announces, her eyes creasing as she tilts her head and continues to survey the object of her affection. “So, Serena. What do you do then?” Lila asks, evidently enjoying their pretend yet incredibly flirtatious game. Attempting to upkeep the humorous side of the conversation and to hopefully impress, Nas concocts the most unrealistic answer possible. “I am actually an Olympic gold medallist…javelin” she replies, trying to maintain a calm expression. Lila wears a look of fake surprise and intrigue, before following on with “I…am an astronaut.” Nas grins, and Lila continues. “Yeah! I only work two days a week. The rest of the time I’m writing a novel…about cats.” Nas bursts into a fit of laughter, and Lila mirrors this. Their faces are both aglow with a fond yearning, a brief wave of silence washing over their infatuation. Nas remembers Missy saying that the staff were having a karaoke night tonight, and breaks the silence by asking “So how’s your night then, Sunali?” She looks solemn as she nears the end of the question, feeling slightly anxious as Lila begins to stare into the distance. “Karaoke…” Lila responds. “There’s this guy, he’s nice enough but he spent the whole night following me around asking if I was single.” Nas is stricken with jealousy at the thought of another person, a man- trying to win over the only woman she can ever imagine herself wanting. As these envious thoughts begin to circle her mind, she realises the unfairness of it all. How can this man and Lila be allowed to openly love one another, despite Lila rejecting him, yet they must keep all personal connections under wraps for fear of exposure. Despite feeling downhearted by this information, Nas tries her hardest to shrug it off and reply when Lila’s asks “You?” Nas prepares to explain her reason for being in Leeds so late. “I waaas in this club. It was alright, I mean it’s more Missy’s thing than mine. That’s why she’s still…there…actually”. Nas trails off, and the pair both laugh gently. Lila sighs then, and glances down at the floor. “I just spent the whole night wishing I was somewhere else” she admits. At this, Nas feels overwhelmed with emotion and pensive desire. Her throat tightens and she struggles to hold herself back from crying. “Yeah, me too.” For a second, everything is still. Then, Nas cannot take it any longer. She leans towards Lila, slowly and carefully- requesting permission to kiss her. Lila goes to return the gesture, but backs away in panic. “Um, I’m sorry- I have to go” she falters, quickly heading away from Nas in no particular direction. A few strides into her departure and it dawns on Lila that she has made a mistake. Disregarding every rule, contract and government protocol, Lila places her heart before all else. Looking down for less than a second, she turns sharply and walks in Nas’ direction. They meet halfway, desperately in need of one another. Nas looks at Lila with a strong hunger- longing for the type of closure only found in such an intimate embrace as a kiss. Without a word, Lila weaves her hand through Nas’ hair, and feels her lover touch her shoulder tenderly. They lean closer, sensing their noses softly colliding. Before either of them have a chance to withdraw, passion overtakes. Their lips lock in a way that their eyes have done over and over, pushing against one another with deep, genuine lust. The frustrations of months apart are all contained within one wonderful, unfaltering and sustained kiss. Nas craves Lila more than air, her lover’s lips rich with the essence of cherry flavoured balm. When Lila kisses Nas, she tastes a sweet and alluring blend of sugar and alcohol. Neither want to break apart, not for anybody or anything. When they finally do, they hold one another firmly- beaming with the glow of a thousand summer days, refusing to lose even a second of their time together. “I need you” Nas exhales fervently, to which Lila simply says “You have me.”

**Missy**

Missy awakes with a start. Noticing that she is in her own bed, she heaves a sigh of relief. Her head feels sore and her eyes sting with the brightness of day, which is flooding through the curtains and filling up the room. She fumbles for any source of liquid, and picks up an almost empty vodka bottle with only the dregs remaining. ‘Ha’, she thinks- ‘definitely not’. Trying again, she manages to locate a half-empty bottle of water from a few days ago. It’ll do. She takes a swig and tries to sit up, a wave of nausea washing over her. She takes a few big breaths in and reaches for her phone, which she actually remembered to charge. Finishing the water, Missy sits and tries to think back to the night before. She vaguely remembers Nas being there and then not being there, getting off with some lad in the corner of the club, seeing a bunch of people she knows in the street and being ushered on to the early morning train back to Halifax, probably at around 4-5am. ‘Wow, what a rubbish friend I am’ Missy thinks to herself, and hits the home button of her phone to see if she has any notifications. She notices the time, 11:08am- and places her head into her hands when she realises the extent to which she must have gotten drunk last night. Three new friend requests, one of which from Steve Bell? “Oh shit!” Missy exclaims out loud. Steve Bell? Steve Bell as in Mr Bell from school?! Then, Missy recalls who the group was that she collided with only hours ago. She knew them because they are all teachers at her bloody school, and they were the ones who took the train home with her, singing (well, screeching) deafeningly all the way back to Halifax station. Alongside the friend requests are a whole bunch of Snapchats, two from Nas, five from a name she doesn’t recognise and three from Hayley. Opening them one by one, Missy’s jaw drops in alarm. The Snapchats from Hayley are just of her complaining about Chloe, so Missy assumes the double date mustn’t have went according to plan. The five unrecognised name snaps are pictures of Missy in the club, she sort of remembers the girl who took them, but not too well. However, it’s when she gets to opening the Snapchats from Nas that she truly freaks out, in both amazement and astonishment. The first is of Nas sitting in a taxi smiling like an idiot, the front facing flash illuminating her overjoyed expression. This wouldn’t be such a major issue had it only been Nas in the shot. However, to her right, half hidden behind Nas’ hair and half smiling into the camera is none other than the one and only Lila Sharif! Missy shrieks, and hears Hayley grumble a complaint downstairs. Missy takes a screenshot before moving on to the next. Now, if the first Snapchat hadn’t been enough to send Missy Booth into aneurysm central, the second almost knocked her into another world completely. Taken again with the front flash, Nas is pictured lying in bed with her hair fanned out on the pillow. A sheet is pulled up to her collar bone, but Missy can tell she isn’t wearing anything. The pic is captioned with “Shhhh” and a sunglasses emoji. An arm is stretched out around Nas’ shoulders, holding her in a tired embrace. The arm is in too unique a position and of too dark a shade to be Nas’ own, and this is when it truly hits Missy. Nasreen Paracha, the angelic daughter of two Pakistani Muslims, has just slept with her female teacher.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so...this chapter is 1000% original and I've had a lot of fun writing it. It took longer because of the fact that Ackley Bridge did not produce this scene, but I hope that the extra time has increased the quality. I'm a hardcore Nas and Lila shipper if you guys can't tell! AB is now finished until next year, and I'm so sad that it's over. Despite the show ending, I'm still gonna write and finish this fanfic, so stay tuned. 
> 
> *This story follows but does not replicate exact sequences of events from the TV series*  
> (((This is a fanfic, therefore I don't own the characters or any of the names associated with the Ackley Bridge franchise. However, whilst it follows the general gist of the episodes- much of the story's content is created by me. Enjoy!)))

**Nas**

_Walking into school, bag slung over her back- Nas begins to realise that people are staring. They know, they know about her guilty secret. Muslim girls can’t be gay, everyone already knows that. But that isn’t the only thing. A voice is whispering from afar, barely audible. She listens closer and closer. “Nas, I love you. I love you so much”. She turns around and Lila is there, surrounded by a gleaming white light. They touch palms, then Nas cautiously steps forward and then they are kissing. Not the crazy kind, just kissing, the way all lovers do. Suddenly, Mrs Carter and Mr Nawaz appear, dragging Lila away into the distance. Nas begins to cry, but Lila remains calm as they pull her from her true love’s grasp. “Nas, I love you. I love you so much”. This is all she can hear, above the taunts and jeers escalating from the crowd behind. Everybody knows, and now she is all alone. “Nas, I love you. I love you so much”_

Awaking with a jolt, Nas realises that she’s safe. The sunlight is desperately attempting to poke its way through the blinds, managing to illuminate the room only slightly. Relaxing, she rubs her eyes and stretches her arms, exhaling deeply. She rolls over on to her back, and sitting smiling over her is Lila, also safe from the taunting potential of Nas’ nightmares. Nas cannot contain her adoration, and automatically beams the moment they register one another’s presence. Lila is sitting up, teasing Nas’ hair with her fingers, smoothing it out over the softened, slept in linen of the bed. Nas mumbles to herself, enjoying the sensation of having another person play with her hair. She lifts up her own arm and strokes Lila’s curls, then her cheek, and then slowly easing her thumb over her lover’s lips. Lila faintly kisses Nas on the tip of her thumb, and they remain silent for those crucial, priceless moments together- the outside world blissfully unaware of their entanglement. Nas is awash with vibrant memories of the night before, the taste of Lila’s lips and the touch of her soft palms. She wants those feelings to last forever, and desperately hopes that they can. A wave of self-consciousness begins to confront Nas, as she remembers that under Lila’s crumpled duvet, she isn’t wearing a thing. She rolls over to wrap an arm around Lila’s bare waist, nestling her head into her thigh and closing her eyes in contentment. Lila is first to break the silence. It isn’t awkward, nor is it negative. “Well, good morning to you too, sleeping beauty” she teases, continuing to run her hands through Nas’ tangled yet unfalteringly beautiful hair. “Mmmmhmmm” Nas mumbles, her head still pressed firmly into Lila’s thigh. She giggles, and Lila feels the vibrations echo through her body. When Nas finally looks up, her eyes are wide and pleading. “Hey” she says, “I think…I mean I know…but I think that I love you”. Lila should feel alarmed by this dependence, but things just feel so right with Nas, regardless of how unconventional their love may be. “I love you too, Nas”, Lila replies ever so quietly. They are both mentally picturing their future in all of its bright and wonderful glory, yet neither will admit it. For now, each other’s company should be enough, but Nas’ stomach is uneasy at the prospect of losing her one true and undying love. She eases herself away from Lila’s thigh and they both lie down flat on their backs, pondering the things to come. “Sooo, did you enjoy last night then?” Nas cautiously enquires, feeling her cheeks burn a deep crimson. Nas has absolutely no previous experience in the events of last night, and is therefore relying upon Lila for justification. “Yeah, maybe a bit too much” Lila replies, and although she isn’t showing it- Nas is ecstatic. “Ooooh well I’m very glad you did! Beats a Biology lesson in my opinion.” She winks, and Lila rolls her eyes- smiling from ear to ear. “I assume you’ll need to borrow some clothes, unless you plan on wearing that sparkly blue dress again” Lila teases. Knowing full well that she has yesterday’s clothes still in her bag, Nas places it to the side of her mind and bats her eyelids at Lila, who has gotten out of bed and is rummaging through her drawers in only her underwear. “Can’t spare a shower, huh?” Nas hints, to which Lila laughs and chucks her a towel from a nearby stack. “Feel free to join me, _Miss Sharif_ ” Nas giggles, dancing from the bedroom into the bathroom, humming the tune of ‘Suraj Hua Maddham’ as she goes.

**Missy**

Realising that Nas probably used Missy’s house as an excuse to stay at Lila’s, Missy spends the remainder of her day looking down from her bedroom window in search of her best friend returning. Mrs Paracha would have an aneurysm if she suspected her daughter was romantically involved with another woman, let alone a teacher. Since waking up, Missy hadn’t heard anything more from Mr Bell- despite accepting his drunken friend request. She had taken a hot shower, drank a gallon of water to ease her hangover, and was now sitting on the window ledge with a plate of cheese on toast and a brew. Just as Missy goes to take a bite of her second slice of toast, she notices a small car pulling up at the top of the street. Whilst she recognises the make and model, it is far too clean to be owned by somebody local. The windows are darkened, and even five minutes later the occupants haven’t gotten out yet. Missy’s curiosity is growing by the second. Throwing on her leather jacket, she sprints down the stairs and into her yard. Peering around the corner, Missy watches for any potential activity, tactically ducking behind the gate so as not to be spotted. After what seems like an eternity, she hears the car door opening. Then the sound of voices laughing in time with one another, one local accent and one Scottish. Missy smirks and claps her hands eccentrically. Hearing the opened car door slam and the engine start, Missy runs out from where she had hidden herself, and walking directly towards her, head looking straight down and arms crossed- is Nas. Surging towards her best friend, Missy squeals. Nas reciprocates this, hurdling towards Missy at full speed. They grab hold of one another’s hands and jump up and down in unison. “Get in here now you sneaky girl” Missy declares, shoving Nas in the direction of the Booth family’s gate. “You are gonna tell me absolutely _everything_.”

Once they are settled up on Missy’s bed with a plate of biscuits between them, Nas is still grinning. She looks happier than Missy can recall her closest and longest friend ever being. Nas has always been one for keeping her emotions under wraps, and it is as obvious as the sun that she’s completely unable to prevent the constant glow which radiates from her overjoyed expression. “Well then, what happened last night?! Tell me all of it.” Missy demands. As Nas goes to explain, Missy cuts in once again. “Oh and where did you go, I couldn’t find you in the club so I ended up making friends with strangers and coming home with Mr Bell. But not in that way!” “Missy what the hell?!” Nas shouts. “Mr Bell!” Missy smirks and adds “Yeah, saw him and other teachers in Leeds. The charming and oh so practical Miss Sharif must have been out with them.” Nas is amused, and Missy continues. “But anyway, tell me about your night.” Nas straightens her back and coughs, preparing to deliver a detailed account to her eager friend. “Well, I went for some fresh air and the bouncer wouldn’t let me back in the club so I decided to just get the train home. I was walking towards the station and she was just standing there all alone looking sort of sad but really bloody beautiful.” “Awwwww Nas” Missy interjects, not used to hearing this level of emotional honesty. “Yeah, and I mean I was so shocked and really nervous, a lot of it because of what she’d said earlier that day, and I don’t have many memories of this part but I must have started a conversation because the next thing I know she’s kissing me and it’s just so amazing…” Nas pauses to recall the kiss she and Lila had shared, and Missy prompts her to continue, so she does. “Anyway, we were kissing and it was completely different to in school. It felt like we were back in Edinburgh and neither of us cared about anybody else. She was already waiting for a taxi home and I told her I wasn’t planning on going anywhere else and before I knew it we were in the back of a cab on the way to her place.” Missy is becoming increasingly excited, and decides to ask the question she had been pondering all day long. “Erm, so did you and Lila like…do it?” she asks, to which Nas blushes scarlet and crinkles her eyes, buzzed at her memories of the night before. Missy gasps and her mouth opens wide in astonishment. She clasps a hand over it and covers the screech that omits from her vocal cords. “Nasreen Paracha you little devil, you Pakistani lesbian! You seriously did not DO IT with MISS SHARIF?!” Missy is beginning to shout, and Nas quickly shushes her before nodding shyly in response and chuckling to herself. “Yup, then I woke up this morning with nothing on and she was next to me just sort of looking and stroking my hair. It was well romantic but you can’t tell anyone at all, Missy.” Missy is melting in the adorableness of it all, but she’s also entranced by the simple fact that Nas actually managed to pull something like that off with a _teacher_.

By the time Nas goes home, her mum is already rattling saucepans and calling her daughter’s name loud enough for the entire street to hear. Missy watches them from her window, waving to Nas as she finally goes through her own front door. Settling down under her duvet with a film, Missy plans on spending the evening chilling out and taking it easy, unlike the intoxicated mess that she had been the previous night. She lights a few candles and cracks open the window an inch, the perfect combination of fresh air to sweet candle scent. Then, she hears shouting from next door, followed by the deafening slam of a front door. A few seconds pass, and there is a thumping sound on her own door. Speeding down two flights of stairs and throwing it open, Nas is standing there in floods of tears, trembling. “What’s wrong?!” Missy quickly asks, ushering Nas into the kitchen and wrapping her arms around her in a comforting embrace. “It’s my dad” Nas declares, crying so hard that she is barely comprehendible. “He…he said that I have to marry a random boy from Pakistan…I can’t do it Missy I can’t!” Nas shakes and cries for the rest of the evening, and all Missy can do is hold her until she calms down, two best friends with a lot of big problems.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos & comments <3
> 
> *This story follows but does not replicate exact sequences of events from the TV series*  
> (((This is a fanfic, therefore I don't own the characters or any of the names associated with the Ackley Bridge franchise. However, whilst it follows the general gist of the episodes- much of the story's content is created by me. Enjoy!)))

**Nas**

Face stained with tears and eyes heavy with fatigue, Nas awakes on Monday morning after a restless two nights. All her parents have done is argue and scream, yet neither of them have even bothered to ask what she wants. Not that she’s planning on telling them anyway. After an amazing night spent with Lila, it’s just typical that her Desi parents would have to spoil it without even knowing. Nas had only been back home less than an hour on Saturday before her dad had decided to bring her walls crashing down, and Nas’ first instinct was to run for Missy’s house. Now that the weekend has finally disappeared and dragged its way around to Monday morning, Nas is perched on the edge of her bed feeling flattened and nauseous. The only motivation she has to get dressed and make her way into school is the thought of Lila, as well as being unable to spend another minute in the company of her father. She had thought about phoning Lila when everything went wrong, but couldn’t risk anybody overhearing or barging in on their conversation. So to keep things simple and to maintain her allowance of happiness in amongst a whirlwind of chaos- Nas had continued to send and receive cute, semi-cheerful texts with Lila. She had also spent her hours pondering and mentally listing the possible solutions for their relationship. She’d privately researched other local sixth forms and colleges, as well as reading online blog posts about other girls in love with their teachers- none of which had filled her with a lot of hope. Seeing Lila will be her day’s comfort, although Nas is dreading having to explain her situation when their love is just beginning to blossom.

Bumping into Mr Bell in the corridor, Missy pretends to play it cool- and Nas is trying not to smirk as he provides them with a sharp “Good morning girls” before carrying on with his day. “How wasted was Mr Bell on Friday exactly?” Nas asks, intrigued. “Obviously not wasted enough to forget yours truly” Missy dances ahead of Nas, twirling and pouting. “Hmmm, evidently” Nas murmurs, as they reach her chemistry lesson. Waving goodbye, she walks in and takes out her books- preparing to concentrate solely on the lesson and forget her train wreck of a home life. The topic is one that Nas is familiar with, after covering it the previous year. The lesson seems to fly, as do her other two, her free period and lunchtime too. Before Nas knows it, she’s sitting at the back of Lila’s classroom. Surrounded by twenty something other students, Nas can feel the silent pressure to keep herself calm and unexposed. To anybody else, this lesson is just one of many with Miss Sharif- writing up charts and filling in tables, having their teacher explain the textbook to them through a series of PowerPoints and drawn diagrams. On the outset, today’s lesson is exactly that. However, only two people in the room are truly aware of the way in which every table has turned, every convention overthrown and every barrier broken. These two individuals are equally ablaze with a burning desire, neither able to reveal this. Frustration mounts and lustful glances prevail perpetually, shaking the atmosphere with an extreme velocity emphasised only by its silence. Had they both been teachers or students, such inner conflict wouldn’t have to take control in such a relentless, unforgiving fashion. Yet both Nas and Lila know their love is a forbidden scandal, a catalyst for disaster. It amazes Nas just how differently she now feels in the presence of her classmates. An implicit social superiority known only to herself, voiding it of any true hierarchical significance. Whenever Lila drifts in the direction of Nas’ table, her heart stops and those familiar butterflies begin to take hold of every bone in her body. This time, Nas is pretending to focus on twirling a lock of her hair as Lila approaches casually. No amount of pep talks in the mirror can prepare her for this beautifully awkward moment. “Hey girls, need any help?” Lila asks, trying not to let her gaze divert to where Nas is perched, with her head lowered. Having explained a subtopic to a girl sitting two seats along, she makes sure that nobody is paying attention before brushing a hand over Nas’ shoulder and around the back of her neck, slowly meandering back to her desk with a pleased expression. Nas touches the nape of her neck and feels a tingling sensation flow through her skin. It lasts for the entire lesson, and she hopes it’ll remain well into the night.

Pretending to leave the classroom behind everybody else, Nas doubles back when she’s sure they’re all out of eye view. She notices the small window in the door and grabs some blue tack and a random poster from Lila’s desk- covering it. “Nas…we can’t” Lila begins, but she’s already delving into her pocket for the keys. Once the door is locked with a stack of stools piled up against it, Nas places both hands on Lila’s shoulders and lightly pushes her in the direction of the adjoined small equipment store room. Once inside, they recreate a quicker and more desperate version of Friday night- the lack of time compensated for in undying passion. Scrambling for dominance yet both enjoying their respective moments of submissiveness, Nas and Lila lose themselves in the soft touch of one another’s skin and the inviting sweetness of their much awaited kisses. Deep down, Nas knows she should be sitting face to face with Lila, having a serious adult conversation about her father and his stupid marriage obsession, but this is her safe haven. When she finally manages to battle through the constant cyclical pressures of school and family, even just catching a glimpse of Lila makes it all melt away. They kiss with such ferocity that Nas’ other senses are cut off, and every inch of her existence is channelled into fuelling their love even further. Lila reaches over and with one swift movement manages to pick Nas straight up off of the ground and sit her on top of the small counter. The worries of the weekend have vanished, and all Nas can concentrate on is the earth-shattering feeling of Lila’s hands as they edge further up her thighs. “I need you” Nas mumbles, wrapping her arms around her lover. “I need you and I love you, Lila. I really do”. Lila leans over so that her face is partially nestled in Nas’ hair. Her voice is soft and comforting. “I love you, please don’t ever forget that” she replies, whispering. Suddenly, they hear a sharp knock on the door. A deathly, panicked silence looms over them for what is only a few seconds, but seems like an eternity. The knock is followed by a voice “Hellooooo?” Nas breathes a sigh of relief, which is certainly not reflected in Lila’s eyes. The voice is that of Missy, and Nas quickly jumps down from the counter top. “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry” she pleads, slipping one hand into Lila’s back pocket for the key. Lila is whispering hurriedly, barely audible, and Nas looks at her apologetically. “Right, you stay here and I’ll see if I can get Missy to walk back home alone” she compromises, closing the cupboard door and heading towards the classroom entrance. ‘I swear to God, Missy Booth. Of all the times you could have chosen, you picked the bloody worst one’ Nas thinks to herself, sliding the key into the lock and turning it.

**Missy**

Before her best friend can even get a word in edgeways, Missy shrieks. “Shut up Missy!” Nas barks, ordering her to tone it down. “Pakistan would be so proud of you, Nasreen” her friend jokes. Realising that Miss Sharif is almost definitely nearby, she lowers her voice “So is she here then or what? I mean I know she’s here but where actually is she?” Nas grimaces, then checks outside to make sure that nobody is watching. The corridor is deserted, so she tilts her head in the direction of the equipment cupboard. Missy is gobsmacked, barely able to comprehend the sight which is unfurling before her own two eyes. She goes to step inside the Biology room, but Nas stops her. Quietly, she informs Missy of the situation. “I told Lila that I’d get rid of you because she is literally bricking herself in there.” Missy goes to protest, but Nas quickly continues “Soooo, if you go and sit on the wall outside of school, I’ll meet you in ten and tell you everything? Sound like a deal?” Missy is unable to refuse this juicy offer and nods enthusiastically, winking as she walks backwards down the empty corridor. As Nas goes to shut the door, Missy gently calls “Oh, and Nas? Make sure to tuck your shirt in on the way out.” She sees Nas blush and roll her eyes at the same time, before the door clicks and all Missy has left to do is wait.

There are still quite a few cars parked up outside of school, and Missy instantly recognises which one must belong to Miss Sharif. She sits and studies it for the entire fifteen minutes that Nas makes her wait. She’s late, evidently still preoccupied with schoolwork of sorts- i.e. - breaking every rule in the book and doing god knows what in that tiny closet. What seems like weeks later, Nas finally comes running down the school steps and throws herself at Missy. They both burst into a fit of giggles, each hitting the other off of the shoulder in an attempt at play fighting. Keeping to her usual routine, Missy is the first to launch into questioning: “What are you thinking doing it in school?!” she demands, and Nas glares at her. They have literally just walked out of the gates, and they can both see Mrs Carter and Mr Bell only metres away, yet Missy is shrieking about ‘doing it’ in school- excellent. Missy is urgent for information, and they both speed up until they’re well out of earshot. “C’mon then, spill!” Missy pleads, and Nas wears an expression of implicit pride. “There’s not that much to tell…” she begins, but is straightaway cut off with “Nope, don’t you dare tell me that. Details, details, details!” Nas sighs, smiling at the ground. “Well, basically I went into biology feeling a bit low and I’d planned to tell Lila about my dad after the lesson. I definitely didn’t plan for how hard the lesson itself would be though, like I just couldn’t concentrate and I was surrounded by other people so I couldn’t afford to make it look like I wasn’t concentrating.” Missy nods and raises her brow, urging her friend to continue. “Then after everyone left I stayed behind like I usually do, but obviously the moment I saw her alone I just forgot all about my dad and went for it”. Her tone isn’t smug, it’s lustful and full of longing. Missy feels a sort of sympathy for Nas, being placed in such an impossible position of choosing between abiding by the rules or following her heart. She knows Nas is a thinker rather than an impulsive doer, which is why it’s so clear to see that Miss Sharif (Missy still feels weird calling her Lila) is just so perfect for her friend’s happiness. She looks at Nas, who is pushing her hair back with her fingers and carrying a light smile. “What’s on your mind Nazzy?” Missy asks, inquisitively. The response is slow and well thought out. “I’m not sure, Miss. I just feel like home is some sort of stamina test and that I make all of these plans and prepare to tell Lila certain things and then when I’m with her my mind just goes blank. It’s like I have a weird signal in my head and it just goes off the scale when she’s anywhere near it.” Missy tries not to smile, but she can’t help it. “Missy it’s not funny! I seriously need to learn how to act normal with Lila” Nas’ expression falters. “Well firstly, this sounds more like you’re in love with Mi…Lila than you have some sort of problem. Secondly, have you tried a phone call?” Nas breathes in heavily and turns to face her best friend “Do you really think there’s anywhere in my house to have a private phone call with my lesbian lover who also happens to be my teacher?” This is fair enough, Missy thinks to herself. Instead of arguing, she offers Nas a solution “Well, you could always come and sit in my room. Without me, I mean, like on your own? I could go downstairs with Nana or even go for a walk, I don’t mind.” There is a moment of silence between them, but before she knows it, Nas is pulling her in for a hug. “Awww cheers Missy, I’m sorry I can be such a pain”. Hugging her equally as hard, Missy replies “You’re my best friend, it’s allowed.”


End file.
